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Happy Monday Jewels and Gems!
Todays walk down memory lane takes us to the moment that I had decided that Clinical Psychology was not for me.
If you are just beginning to read these blogs, be sure to go back and read the other entries under the Confessions category of the blog!
So, as I participated in the my psychology internship, I quickly learned that there are many aspects to the Clinical Psychology profession that just didn’t mesh well with my personality.
My main concern was that the internship was emotionally taxing for me. I found myself having a hard time separating work from home. I was bringing all of those emotions of sadness home with me, even at the intern level. Becoming a therapist, would mean more emotional encounters, and I did not want to be sad all of the time.
Also, when I participated in the intake interviews, I was able to get the feel of a therapy session. I did enjoy helping the families, but their situations and what they were going through also made me sad. It was hard to find joy in what I was doing.
In addition to being sad from the the Intake Interviews and Monitored Visitations, the phone calls and interactions that I had with customers were usually unpleasant.
The frustration that the families felt was understandable, but I didn’t feel that I should be punished for the system and what they were going through. However, I felt attacked most of the time, and I was unable to help them out of there situation.
In addition to my hands on experience at the internship. I was also surrounded with Marriage and Family Therapy(MFT) students who were in their Masters Programs, and I was of course still in my Bachelor’s Program at CSUF. So, being the inquisitive girl that I am, I began asking them questions.
I also had some heart-to-heart conversations with some of the students who were completing an internship in counseling, while I was completing my undergrad psychology internship.
Many of these interns were struggling financially because I believe they  were working for free, just like me. They also had to pay the bills, so they were also working part time and going to school.
These MFT students soon taught me that getting your MFT is at least a 4-year-program. Not only did you have to complete your masters program, which takes about 2.5 years. You also had to complete a huge number of internship hours, that took most people about 2 years to complete. Most of the students I ran into told me they had to complete something like 3,000 hours of internship. Their internship including giving therapy sessions and shadowing a MFT. They also got feedback from their MFT after playing back some of their therapy sessions.
To me, it made more sense to get my doctorate than it would to get my masters since it is more of an advanced degree, and takes about the same amount of time to complete, 4 to 5
Next week, I will explain how these experience propelled me to the next stage of my career!
Please let me know what you think if you would like to share your thoughts!
Lots of Love
xoxo
Chauntel
Terrance writes:
Dear Chauntel,
Ok so I started dating this girl right after she broke up with ger BF of two years, we’ve been going together for a month and I fell in love with her, I dont want to get hurt, what to do…
Hi Terrance,
Coming into a new relationship with someone when they have just come out of one can be difficult.
It takes a lot of patience on your part because you have to be understanding of what she is feeling. Beyond that you must also be aware that she may or may not be in the best emotional state to be receiving a relationship.
With all that in mind how can you ensure that you don’t get hurt and don’t end up a rebound? You cannot. However, you can take these precautions.
If you feel that the person that you are in the relationship is not ready for commitment, don’t try to pressure them into it. Guard your heart as much as you can while you wait it out. It will be easy for them to throw themselves into their new relationship and ignore what they are feeling from their past relationship. It is up to you to be aware of that, and take things slow.
Don’t rush into anything serious until you are confident that they have left their last relationship in the past. If you build a friendship with your lover slowly you will be in tune with what they are feeling. When you feel that you
are both on the same level of thinking and feeling then the two of you can slowly start moving into a more committed relationship, but not before.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
Send your questions to askchauntel@gmail.com
Hi Chauntel,
I don’t know what to do. I feel like we’re in a relationship without being in a relationship. I want to end it but then I don’t because he is so amazing. I just feel like if your life was so busy and you knew how I felt/was (I was very straight forward in the beginning) why would you even continue to speak to me. I know he has a life, I don’t want all his time. I just want to know his life because there is still so much we don’t know about each other. Also I don’t want to just give up when things don’t work, life isn’t about taking the easy route. But I’m considering moving on, without telling him. Like keeping my options open, talking to other guys, finding myself. Just having fun, cause he’s obviously too busy with his life. What should I do?
Well….The guy is busy and that is a good thing. That means he has a passion about something. Give him time. Don’t pressure him too much. The point is that he is including you and that matters.
It may not be all you want, but as long as he is giving you time and making you feel appreciated that is all you can ask  for.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
22-year-old Jethro from New Jersey writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I have this young Lady in my church who I am interested in. She has been going to my church since 2009. I remember telling her I liked her in that same year and her not knowing how to respond because she barely knew me. This was all of course four years ago.  I am interested in I like her for more than her beauty. I genuinely feel and see a radiant beauty from her I like her and what to be more than friends what do you think I should do.
Hi Jethro,
It looks like it is time for you to act on your emotions. If you don’t she might get scooped up by someone else. Since you go to the same church, I am sure that you have interacted a bit. The next step is to approach her, and let her know that you are interested in getting to know her a little better. Go for it dude! What are you waiting for? However, be prepared that if she is not interested in you, you have to accept that and take it as an opportunity to move on.
Here are a couple of videos that I have made on similar topics below!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
Dating Tips for Shy/Quite Boys
How to Approach a Girl
Chauntel explains what he must do to get over her. How does he stop thinking and longing for her? Watch! Askchauntel@gmail.com
There is something that I thought about today that really inspired me.
I realized its ok to be me completely, 100% me. It’s ok that I have interests in so many diverse things. It’s ok that when I tell people that I want to be a Talk Show Host they look at me like I have described an impossible task that could never be achieved.
It’s ok that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my expressions are so bright that I leave them out for the world to see.
I realized that I cannot put myself in a box. My personality just cannot fit, and I cannot do anything about that.
Relationships after Divorce – To Jump or Not to Jump. Hmmmm.
20-year-old Derrel writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I am so depressed and disappointed. I cannot do anything. She left me for no reason. She was my first love. The problem is I loved her more than anyone else, more than myself.
I can never forget her, I beg her many times, but she keeps ignoring me. She speaks very rudely. What do I do now? I always cry and I can’t stop my tears. I said I will be waiting for you until the end of time. Please tell me what I do now? I want her back, and I will do anything for her. I love her so much, so please tell me what to do so that she will come back to me.
Hi Derrel,
I am so sorry that this has happened to you. These things happen to the best of us. Loosing your first love can be a very difficult position to be in. And the pain that you feel inside cuts deep.
However, if she doesn’t want to continue your relationship you have to accept that, and continue to move forward. How, do you do that????? You have to allow time to pass, and do your best to busy yourself with things that will busy your mind.
It’s easy to fall so deep that we forget about ourselves. Don’t do that. It is not healthy, and you will always end up being so hurt. You have to guard you heart. That doesn’t mean that you should have the walls up so high that no one is able to come in, but what it does mean is you have to absolutely be more cautious about giving you heart away so quickly and so deeply without knowing how the other person feels.
You have to let her go, like a bird. Let her fly away. If and when she comes back you can decide if you want to be with her, but right now you have a lot of growing to do. You have to let her go so that you can grow yourself. You have to learn to love you before you completely give your heart away to someone new.
It may seem near impossible to let this one go, but you have complete control of your situation, and I know that you have the power to make a change in your life.
How do you make this change? Accept that it is over between the two of you, and continue to move forward with your life the best you can. It may hurt a lot right now, but as time passes you can slowly let this thing go, but you have to be willing to let go to move forward
Check this video out. It should help!
Lots of Love!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
Chauntel explains Non Suicidal Self Injury and expresses what a girl should do if she continues having the urge to hurt herself physically because of her feelings! Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com
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