How to Not be a Rebound – Ask Chauntel

Terrance writes:

Dear Chauntel,

Ok so I started dating this girl right after she broke up with ger BF of two years, we’ve been going together for a month and I fell in love with her, I dont want to get hurt, what to do…

Hi Terrance,

Coming into a new relationship with someone when they have just come out of one can be difficult.

It takes a lot of patience on your part because you have to be understanding of what she is feeling. Beyond that you must also be aware that she may or may not be in the best emotional state to be receiving a relationship.

With all that in mind how can you ensure that you don’t get hurt and don’t end up a rebound? You cannot. However, you can take these precautions.

If you feel that the person that you are in the relationship is not ready for commitment, don’t try to pressure them into it. Guard your heart as much as you can while you wait it out. It will be easy for them to throw themselves into their new relationship and ignore what they are feeling from their past relationship. It is up to you to be aware of that, and take things slow.

Don’t rush into anything serious until you are confident that they have left their last relationship in the past. If you build a friendship with your lover slowly you will be in tune with what they are feeling. When you feel that youchauntelavatar are both on the same level of thinking and feeling then the two of you can slowly start moving into a more committed relationship, but not before.

I Hope This Helps!


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Is He Too Busy For Me? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Hi Chauntel,

We talked everyday over Facebook for like 2 in a half months. For a few weeks he’s now too busy. He has work, school, boxing. I’m understanding about it to a certain extent. I’m a Scorpio so I told him I demand attention before we got involved. Which is true! That’s my nature, I told him how I felt and he feels strongly about me too so he says. He just said that everything else comes first. So in my head this is how I perceive our situation.
3 months ago.Him: Hey, your really pretty. So I’m going to give you all my time, I’m going to have long conversations. I’m going to compliment you and give you millions of you cute nicknames without coming across as an ***. You’ll like me cause I’ll reply back multiple times in a day and we’ll have fun conversations.
Me: AwwwHim: I’m mainly doing this cause nothing’s going on in my life. When something happens I’ll slowly stop telling you things. And because we were never official and this is a long distance thing we can just be friends. But I still like you! It’s just something grabbed my attention more than you’re doing now. So just be happy that we’re talking there’s no rush.Me: Okay, so I was just the latest toy on the shelf. You have new ones that you like better but don’t want to throw me away due to sentimental value, however you’re going to leave me on here to rot?This is how I perceive everything. He’s an amazing guy, the best I’ve ever encountered but he doesn’t even reply back in the same day, sometimes 2 days. He says I’m being obsessive which I can be and was being lately do to the fact I feel like he’s ignoring me. He says he’s not, that he’s just busy.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like we’re in a relationship without being in a relationship. I want to end it but then I don’t because he is so amazing. I just feel like if your life was so busy and you knew how I felt/was (I was very straight forward in the beginning) why would you even continue to speak to me. I know he has a life, I don’t want all his time. I just want to know his life because there is still so much we don’t know about each other. Also I don’t want to just give up when things don’t work, life isn’t about taking the easy route. But I’m considering moving on, without telling him. Like keeping my options open, talking to other guys, finding myself. Just having fun, cause he’s obviously too busy with his life. What should I do?

Hey Love,

Well….The guy is busy and that is a good thing. That means he has a passion about something. Give him time. Don’t pressure him too much. The point is that he is including you and that matters.

It may not be all you want, but as long as he is giving you time and making you feel appreciated that is all you can ask  for.

I Hope This Helps!


I Have Liked Her Forever….What Now?

22-year-old Jethro from New Jersey writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I have this young Lady in my church who I am interested in. She has been going to my church since 2009. I remember telling her I liked her in that same year and her not knowing how to respond because she barely knew me. This was all of course four years ago.  I am interested in I like her for more than her beauty. I genuinely feel and see a radiant beauty from her I like her and what to be more than friends what do you think I should do.

Hi Jethro,

It looks like it is time for you to act on your emotions. If you don’t she might get scooped up by someone else. Since you go to the same church, I am sure that you have interacted a bit. The next step is to approach her, and let her know that you are interested in getting to know her a little better. Go for it dude! What are you waiting for? However, be prepared that if she is not interested in you, you have to accept that and take it as an opportunity to move on.

Here are a couple of videos that I have made on similar topics below!

I Hope This Helps!


Dating Tips for Shy/Quite Boys

How to Approach a Girl

Video: How to let go of her? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Chauntel explains what he must do to get over her. How does he stop thinking and longing for her? Watch!

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry

There is something that I thought about today that really inspired me.

I realized its ok to be me completely, 100% me. It’s ok that I have interests in so many diverse things. It’s ok that when I tell people that I want to be a Talk Show Host they look at me like I have described an impossible task that could never be achieved.

It’s ok that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my expressions are so bright that I leave them out for the world to see.

I realized that I cannot put myself in a box. My personality just cannot fit, and I cannot do anything about that.


Relationships after Divorce – To Jump or Not to Jump. Hmmmm

Relationships after Divorce – To Jump or Not to Jump. Hmmmm.

She Left Me and I am Depressed – Ask Chauntel

20-year-old Derrel writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I am so depressed and disappointed. I cannot do anything. She left me for no reason. She was my first love. The problem is I loved her more than anyone else, more than myself.

I can never forget her, I beg her many times, but she keeps ignoring me. She speaks very rudely. What do I do now? I always cry and I can’t stop my tears. I said I will be waiting for you until the end of time. Please tell me what I do now? I want her back, and I will do anything for her. I love her so much, so please tell me what to do so that she will come back to me.

Hi Derrel,

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. These things happen to the best of us. Loosing your first love can be a very difficult position to be in. And the pain that you feel inside cuts deep.

However, if she doesn’t want to continue your relationship you have to accept that, and continue to move forward. How, do you do that????? You have to allow time to pass, and do your best to busy yourself with things that will busy your mind.

It’s easy to fall so deep that we forget about ourselves. Don’t do that. It is not healthy, and you will always end up being so hurt. You have to guard you heart. That doesn’t mean that you should have the walls up so high that no one is able to come in, but what it does mean is you have to absolutely be more cautious about giving you heart away so quickly and so deeply without knowing how the other person feels.

You have to let her go, like a bird. Let her fly away. If and when she comes back you can decide if you want to be with her, but right now you have a lot of growing to do. You have to let her go so that you can grow yourself. You have to learn to love you before you completely give your heart away to someone new.

It may seem near impossible to let this one go, but you have complete control of your situation, and I know that you have the power to make a change in your life.

How do you make this change? Accept that it is over between the two of you, and continue to move forward with your life the best you can. It may hurt a lot right now, but as time passes you can slowly let this thing go, but you have to be willing to let go to move forward

Check this video out. It should help!

Lots of Love!



Video: NSSI – I Cut Myself – Ask Chauntel (CLICK TEXT)

Chauntel explains Non Suicidal Self Injury and expresses what a girl should do if she continues having the urge to hurt herself physically because of her feelings! Watch!

Migrating Old Blog

Hello All!

I will be migrating my old blog over. Be patient with me (:




How to be a Smart Guy but Still Attract Girls

Hi Phil,

Hi Chauntel,
Eye, I am a nerd. How can I stay a brainy guy and attract women without dumbing myself down?

Hey Phil,

Be yourself, but don’t make her feel that you are arrogant. Meet her at her level, and make her feel wonderful and beautiful. Don’t spend too much time talking about yourself. Make her feel appreciated, and let her know that you are interested in her by asking her questions concerning who she is.

This will take some of the attention off of you, and make you more appealing to her. Never, dumb yourself down for any woman. You are who you are, and if she cannot accept that, then she is not the right one for you.

Brains are attractive, but arrogance is not.

You dig?