Happy Relationships : 3 Guidelines Women Should Follow in Relationships

DON’T DO: The Nag Instead of the Brag

Men don’t respond well to nagging. I mean who does? The best way to get the most out of your man is praise him for what he does right, and request the things that you need at the right time.

If you follow these two simple guidelines you will get the most out of your man more often. If you really want something done, you should not only consider asking, but ask when he is available to actually get the task done and is not preoccupied with another responsibility.

If you want your man to respond positively to you, brag on him. In fact, let him hear you do it! This makes him feel loved and proud to do more for you.

DONT’: Let Your Emotions Lead

Women were born with instincts that favor emotion over logic. Many times it is hard to not allow your emotions to affect your actions. However, to build a strong relationship you must remember not to allow your emotions to be the sole determinant of actions that you take.

Emotions do exist for a reason, and they play an important role in relationships. However, it is important to remember that they should not dictate you actions. Instead, weigh logic and emotion when choosing to make decisions.

DON’T: Find Self Worth in Him

Verse I Would Like to Share: Psalms 139:14

Remember that you are uniquely made by God. Therefore, instead of finding your worth in your relationship find your worth in God.

If you have no life outside of your relationship you will find it difficult to be happy within your relationship. This doesn’t mean that you cannot do things with your bae, but it does mean that you should have other things that you are interested in doing on your own.

Simply, keep your girlfriends and have a hobby. There will be times where your guy wants to hang with his guy friends, and you should be ok with that. He will be more excited to get home to you if you don’t make a fuss about it. Remember to make your life equally as interesting as he thinks his is!

Email me questions to: askchauntel@gmail.com

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In this video I share my Christian dating advice for women concerning the question who should pay for the date. As a Christian woman with Christian values I have a very strong perspective on this topic, and I am so glad to share! Please share your thoughts below and vote on my poll to express your opinion. The link is below. Feel free to email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

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What do Women Want for Valentines Day?

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So, you finally survive through choosing the perfect Christmas gift, then you look up and it’s already time for another thoughtful gift. A Valentines Day gift! What is a guy to do?

I understand your frustration guys, and I hear the pain. So, I thought I would provide you with a guide to selecting the perfect Valentines Day gift!

8 Ways to Avoid Buying the Wrong Valentines Day Gift

by Stoonn
by Stoonn

Selecting a gift for your sweetheart on Valentines Day can be a difficult task for many.

Why? Well there is a  large margin for error on this special day. Whether you have been in a relationship for a while, or if you just started dating, either reality causes for apprehension.

A Valentines Day gift is not like Birthday or Christmas gift, it is a very personal gift. The gift is symbolic of LOVE. It can be given between family, friends, or lovers.

But, the Question is what do you buy? Do you buy it, should you make it? Does it have to have a certain price point? All great questions, and the answer is different for every person.

1. The Gift Should Not Be Something that You Want
You shouldn’t get her your favorite candy, so that the two of you can “share.”

woman working out by marin
by marin

2. The Gift Should Not Hint Towards Something Underlying 
For example, don’t buy your husband/wife a gym membership to hint towards that fact that you want him/her to loose weight.

3. Don’t Be Cheap
The value of a gift is not always monetary. It should be something that you had to spend some time thinking about. You don’t have to empty you wallet, but you must remember the gift value is presenting their love value. It’s not about the money you spend it’s about the meaning behind the gift.

4. Don’t Re-gift  
If you gave the gift to your X, it’s probably not a good idea to give it to your new girl. So, take time to find a gift that is unique to her, or him. It looses it’s value, meaning, and thoughtfulness if it was given before.

5. Don’t Give Cheap Chocolate if You Are Over 16

Cheap chocolate tastes cheap. Ah! Gross! You would be better off buying a candy bar and adding a thoughtful card than buying a cheap box of chocolate and handing if over!

man giving his wife a gift
by Ohmmy3d

6. Don’t Buy A Card and Only Sign the Bottom
Buy a card to go with your gift, is such a great idea. It displays that you want to express in words  how much the person means to you. However, if you sign a blank card that only says “Happy Valentines Day” It makes your card dry and cold. Add a bit of your own handwriting, then sign your name!

7.  Don’t Buy a Birthday or Christmas Gift
Although jackets, shoes, and vacuums may be needed, a more special gift should be considered, like a necklace, earrings or a teddy bear.

8. Don’t Give Only Perishable Items
Flowers, and chocolate are great gifts for Valentines, but don’t forget the card or the teddy bear. Why? You want her to have something to remember you by. Something she can look at and think of you. She may be thinking of you as she bites into that yummy piece of chocolate, but she can keep the card to read and look over and over again.

This Guy is No Good for Me…But I am in Love – Help! – Ask Chauntel

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16-year-old Alisha writes:

I have been talking to and dating this boy on and off for about a year. Throughout the relationship we’ve had arguments, and he has done me very wrong. However, I was always quick to forgive him just to get back to our happiness. I hope you can get back to me, there is so much more to this story. I know he is not good for me, and he did me wrong. I love him tho, i truely do. We have fun and alot of goodtimes and memories together.

by Stuart Miles
by Stuart Miles

Hi Alisha,

This is very simple. You have said it all. This guy is no good for you. Why drag this out? I understand that your feelings for him are strong, but that does not excuse his behavior. You should walk away before you get deeper into this and get to a place where it is hard to recover your feelings. Be strong, you will get through this.

Thanks,

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

I Don’t Like My Bestfriend Anymore as a Boyfriend- Help

16-year-old Cecie writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I just had my first relationship with my best friend, and I like him. He is very good, but I kinda feel weird to act romantic and stuff. So most of the time, I avoid it. I feel like I’d rather be more of his best friend than a girlfriend. So I really don’t know what to do plz help. I am kinda having second thoughts about it.

Hi Cecie!

Yikes! This is a tough situation to be in. I would say, once you overstep that friendship boundary it can be difficult to go back.

When I read your question, it immediately made me think of a rubber-band as a metaphor.

I have three possible scenarios for you. Let’s say that your relationship is the rubber-band.

ImageThe first scenario is you  pull  the rubber-band so far apart that it immediately breaks. O’Boy does that hurt! If he is “falling” for you it will be very difficult for your relationship to spring back from “romantic” to “friend-zone”. He may be so hurt by it that he walks away completely, because of a broken heart.

The second scenario is you have pulled the rubber-band so far apart and although it did not quite break,  it stretched. Meaning, the original fibers no longer go back into place as they once were. At that point there is nothing you can quite do about it, but try to build from where you are.

Occasionally, when you stretch a rubber-band it may spring back into its original shape. Therefore,  depending on how strong your friendship is, it could go back to how it was before, but only time will tell. And it is very unlikely that your relationship will not suffer any damages from these changes. Once you decide to to transition your relationship from “friend” to “romance” going back the other way again is nearly impossible without any change occurring within the relationship. I am very doubtful that it will.

Image
by Ambro

In these situations, there is usually one person whose feelings are stronger than the other.

He might find it difficult to ignore the fact that the dynamics of the relationship have changed. It may be that his feelings may have grown too strong for you at this point, or there is also the possibility that he feels exactly the same way and also doesn’t see the sparks flying. In this case he will be open to walking back into a friendship. He is the only one who can tell you how he feels, and only time will tell how he will react.

So, what should you do? Give it some time until you really know how you feel. At this point, you don’t sound too sure about how you feel. Speaking against the relationship before you truly know how you feel could be detrimental. I would wait it out for a little while. Once your feelings are more clear you have to verbalize them to him.

You have to first be honest with yourself, then you have to be honest with him. If he really values your friendship he will work through it. He might need some time to adjust, and you need to give him that time.

I Hope This Helps!

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He is Afraid of Commitment – Relationship Advice

by david castillo
by david castillo

Stacey writes:

Hello Chauntel,

Me and this guy have been hanging out every single day since we met for the past 3 months. Everyone thinks that were a couple and in a relationship because of our chemistry and that we look good together. I have been embracing our friendship and enjoying our time together he hugs me too and kisses me in public hold me and treats me like his girlfriend his family even thinks we’re together. He did tell me that he had commitment issues but only recently did he say he doesn’t see us as a item meaning he was pulling the friend card on me. What does this mean and what should I do because I am completely confused on how to people can be so good together in one can’t see that.

Hi Stacey,

Well, if you continuously went into this knowing that he has commitment issues, you couldn’t expect anything more.

Now this is not to say, that you shouldn’t want more. Just because it may seem like you are together to other people and it may even feel like it to you sometimes you know the truth, you are not. Don’t torture yourself with pretending that this is not the reality.

You have complete control over this situation. Either you are going to accept this situation just as it is, or you are going to part ways with this guy.

If he doesn’t want to commit you cannot, nor should you force him to. Don’t waste too much time here. Treat it as a casual dating relationship and keep dating other guys. He needs to get his feelings together, then you might have a shot at a real relationship. Until then you may as well just have fun with no strings attached. I know this isn’t what you want, but it is what you have.

If you don’t want it anymore, then let him know. At that point he may or may not choose to continue a relationship with you, the type of relationship that you want.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

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