Christian Dating – Should I Date My Best friend?

20-year-old Morgan from PA writes in for some Christian dating advice from the advice column, and she writes:

Hi Chauntel!

So I have recently started dating a guy I put in the friend zone several times throughout the years of our great friendship. We truly were and still are each others best friends and have always confided in one another. We have been dating for almost 5 months now and we have been doing this long distance because of his commitment to the Military.

Before our relationship started I let my values, beliefs and morals known. Because I have been his “dream girl” for many, many years he said I will be okay with that because I just want to have you. During this beginning stage of interviewing, I asked Jesus into my heart and devoted my life to him. Since doing so I have felt a growing need for my S.O to be on a similar page as me.

I know that God has it covered when it comes to my boyfriend asking Jesus into his heart and believing in the beautiful sacrifice he made for everyone good and bad in the world. I am just beginning to feel insecure about just waiting for that to happen. I’m feeling most secure now because he deploys in a month for 6 months and I feel like I need to know where he is and what he understands about the Christian faith before he deploys to see if it is worth it to continue courting one another.

I am worried of letting myself go through the emotional turmoil of a deployment and it not being worth it. I am also insecure that my boyfriend fell in love with my looks before my character so I’m worried that he sees me as his future wife for the wrong reasons. I’m just a mess clearly. Please send help lol.

Hi Morgan,

I think it is wonderful that you let your values and beliefs known at the beginning of the relationship. I also believe that it is great that you are his “dream girl”, and he accepts you for who you are. However, that alone isn’t going to be enough for the plan that God has for your life.

And yes… I totally agree with the fact that you want to figure this out before he deploys. It wouldn’t make since to make a commitment to a long distance relationship unless you know that it is something that you want to pursue or truly want to invest into.

So, see where he is with his Christian faith. Then, encourage him to build a relationship with God. Just ensure that he is doing it for him, not just to be in a relationship with you. If he does so, then his motivation will not last.

It could be that you help sow the seed for him to build a deeper relationship with God, or you may find out that his heart isn’t in it. At this point, we don’t know. What we do know is, at this point, you two are unequally yoked, and that will cause many challenges in the future.

The Bible tells us to be equally yoked so that our light can shine brighter. The Bible verse is below!

I hope it helps!  Hey Jewels feel free to leave your advice in the comment section below. 

Chauntel xoxo

2 Corinthians 6:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

 

Kim and Kayne – Celebrity Marriage – Happy Relationship Advice

 

In this video we discuss the celebrity marriage of Kim and Kayne concerning her fashion and if she should stop wearing her choice of large sunglasses for the 90s style of sunglasses that we have seen on Kylie Jenner. Is he being controlling or should she take his style advice? COMMENT BELOW AND VOTE ON THE POLL: http://www.askchauntel.com If you have questions email me at askchauntel@gmail.com More info for you on http://www.askchauntel.com Free Audio Training: https://askchauntel.com/newsletter/ Video Mentioned at End: https://youtu.be/7A5P-sW7olU My Other What’s in My Diaper Bag Video: https://youtu.be/VqSupMT34l8 Private Coaching: https://askchauntel.com/coaching/ Let’s Connect! http://www.askchauntel.com http://www.instagram.com/askchauntel http://www.facebook.com/ask.chauntel http://www.twitter.com/askchauntel

PCOS and Getting Pregnant – Marriage Advice – Happy Relationship

In this video I give advice on overcoming the challenges of PCOS and getting pregnant. Seeking marriage advice can be a challenge when you want a happy relationship with your spouse! I give five relationship tips to help you with overcoming problems with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and getting pregnant. Trying to conceive can be challenging! You are not alone!

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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Christmas Holiday Gift Guide for Him – Gift Ideas – Happy Relationship

In this video I share my Christmas Holiday Gift Guide for Him. If you are in a Happy Relationship and are looking for gift ideas for bae whether he is your husband or boyfriend, then this is the video for you! Share your favorite gift in the comments!

If you have questions email me at askchauntel@gmail.com

Advice for Newlyweds – How to Communicate in a Marriage – Happy Relationship

In this video I give advice for newlyweds on how to communicate in a marriage. To have a happy relationship and save your marriage it takes time and effort. If you are looking for Christian relationship and marital advice, then this video is for you. As a Christian mom and wife I love to give relationship advice answering your relationship questions! 

 

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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Happy Relationships : 3 Guidelines Women Should Follow in Relationships

DON’T DO: The Nag Instead of the Brag

Men don’t respond well to nagging. I mean who does? The best way to get the most out of your man is praise him for what he does right, and request the things that you need at the right time.

If you follow these two simple guidelines you will get the most out of your man more often. If you really want something done, you should not only consider asking, but ask when he is available to actually get the task done and is not preoccupied with another responsibility.

If you want your man to respond positively to you, brag on him. In fact, let him hear you do it! This makes him feel loved and proud to do more for you.

DONT’: Let Your Emotions Lead

Women were born with instincts that favor emotion over logic. Many times it is hard to not allow your emotions to affect your actions. However, to build a strong relationship you must remember not to allow your emotions to be the sole determinant of actions that you take.

Emotions do exist for a reason, and they play an important role in relationships. However, it is important to remember that they should not dictate you actions. Instead, weigh logic and emotion when choosing to make decisions.

DON’T: Find Self Worth in Him

Verse I Would Like to Share: Psalms 139:14

Remember that you are uniquely made by God. Therefore, instead of finding your worth in your relationship find your worth in God.

If you have no life outside of your relationship you will find it difficult to be happy within your relationship. This doesn’t mean that you cannot do things with your bae, but it does mean that you should have other things that you are interested in doing on your own.

Simply, keep your girlfriends and have a hobby. There will be times where your guy wants to hang with his guy friends, and you should be ok with that. He will be more excited to get home to you if you don’t make a fuss about it. Remember to make your life equally as interesting as he thinks his is!

Email me questions to: askchauntel@gmail.com

Who Should Pay for the Date – Christian Dating Advice for Women

In this video I share my Christian dating advice for women concerning the question who should pay for the date. As a Christian woman with Christian values I have a very strong perspective on this topic, and I am so glad to share! Please share your thoughts below and vote on my poll to express your opinion. The link is below. Feel free to email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

New Video: Should I Choose My Boyfriend Over My Family? – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

Have you ever been in a situation where it seems like you are not receiving support for your romantic relationship from the people who matter most, your family? How do you handle the situation? Who do you choose, and what do you do? Watch! askchauntel@gmail.com

What do Women Want for Valentines Day?

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So, you finally survive through choosing the perfect Christmas gift, then you look up and it’s already time for another thoughtful gift. A Valentines Day gift! What is a guy to do?

I understand your frustration guys, and I hear the pain. So, I thought I would provide you with a guide to selecting the perfect Valentines Day gift!

8 Ways to Avoid Buying the Wrong Valentines Day Gift

by Stoonn
by Stoonn

Selecting a gift for your sweetheart on Valentines Day can be a difficult task for many.

Why? Well there is a  large margin for error on this special day. Whether you have been in a relationship for a while, or if you just started dating, either reality causes for apprehension.

A Valentines Day gift is not like Birthday or Christmas gift, it is a very personal gift. The gift is symbolic of LOVE. It can be given between family, friends, or lovers.

But, the Question is what do you buy? Do you buy it, should you make it? Does it have to have a certain price point? All great questions, and the answer is different for every person.

1. The Gift Should Not Be Something that You Want
You shouldn’t get her your favorite candy, so that the two of you can “share.”

woman working out by marin
by marin

2. The Gift Should Not Hint Towards Something Underlying 
For example, don’t buy your husband/wife a gym membership to hint towards that fact that you want him/her to loose weight.

3. Don’t Be Cheap
The value of a gift is not always monetary. It should be something that you had to spend some time thinking about. You don’t have to empty you wallet, but you must remember the gift value is presenting their love value. It’s not about the money you spend it’s about the meaning behind the gift.

4. Don’t Re-gift  
If you gave the gift to your X, it’s probably not a good idea to give it to your new girl. So, take time to find a gift that is unique to her, or him. It looses it’s value, meaning, and thoughtfulness if it was given before.

5. Don’t Give Cheap Chocolate if You Are Over 16

Cheap chocolate tastes cheap. Ah! Gross! You would be better off buying a candy bar and adding a thoughtful card than buying a cheap box of chocolate and handing if over!

man giving his wife a gift
by Ohmmy3d

6. Don’t Buy A Card and Only Sign the Bottom
Buy a card to go with your gift, is such a great idea. It displays that you want to express in words  how much the person means to you. However, if you sign a blank card that only says “Happy Valentines Day” It makes your card dry and cold. Add a bit of your own handwriting, then sign your name!

7.  Don’t Buy a Birthday or Christmas Gift
Although jackets, shoes, and vacuums may be needed, a more special gift should be considered, like a necklace, earrings or a teddy bear.

8. Don’t Give Only Perishable Items
Flowers, and chocolate are great gifts for Valentines, but don’t forget the card or the teddy bear. Why? You want her to have something to remember you by. Something she can look at and think of you. She may be thinking of you as she bites into that yummy piece of chocolate, but she can keep the card to read and look over and over again.

This Guy is No Good for Me…But I am in Love – Help! – Ask Chauntel

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16-year-old Alisha writes:

I have been talking to and dating this boy on and off for about a year. Throughout the relationship we’ve had arguments, and he has done me very wrong. However, I was always quick to forgive him just to get back to our happiness. I hope you can get back to me, there is so much more to this story. I know he is not good for me, and he did me wrong. I love him tho, i truely do. We have fun and alot of goodtimes and memories together.

by Stuart Miles
by Stuart Miles

Hi Alisha,

This is very simple. You have said it all. This guy is no good for you. Why drag this out? I understand that your feelings for him are strong, but that does not excuse his behavior. You should walk away before you get deeper into this and get to a place where it is hard to recover your feelings. Be strong, you will get through this.

Thanks,

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com