How to Prevent Suicidal Thoughts

Hello Jewels and Gems,

girl in garden by anankkml

by anankkml

A harsh reality is that many people around us are hurting. At times they cannot see a way to overcome their pain and circumstances. It is during these times that we have to be there to show our love and support.

This post is inspired by a viewer who sent me a question recently about wanting to prevent themselves from committing suicide.

To the Person Having Suicidal Thoughts:

You are Loved

It is important for you to know that you are loved. It may seem like everyone and everything around you is going downhill and out of your control, but even during the times that you feel alone just know that you are loved. Even if the people around you do not show you love, God loves you.

You Matter

Remind yourself that you matter. At times we feel unwanted and unneeded because people in our lives have made us feel like we are not important. Don’t let those horrible people define you. If you were not here, someone would miss you. In most cases many will miss you.

You Have a Purpose Exclusive to You

If you didn’t know it, you have a purpose. There are specific gifts and talents that have been given to you that no one can take away. Even if you have been told that you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, you have to believe that you are.

Sometimes it takes time to define your purpose in life. However, it is important for you to know that no one can live  your purpose for you. You were made by God for a specific reason. Only you can find that, and if you take it upon yourself to take your life you are robbing the world of your gifts and talents.

Life is Worth Living

Even during the hard times, you must remember that your life is truly worth living. There is nothing so bad in life that you should take your on life. There is always another option. You have other choices. There is a way to make your situation and your circumstance better, but you have to allow time and effort to make those changes happen.

Gather Support

Many times when a person is having suicidal thoughts its because they spend too much time alone. Sometimes we rob ourselves of time with others for one reason or another, but we all need someone. You cannot live life alone. You were not born alone, you didn’t live alone(within reason there is always someone near you even if they are a house away), and if you can help it you shouldn’t die alone.

Get Professional Help

If you have someone around you that you can trust talk to that individual, and let them know what is going on with you, this way they can be there to support you. They can also assist you in  finding the help that you need and deserve.

It is important for you to find professional help. Therefore, seek out a therapist or psychologist who can support you. They will help you to talk it out and identify the root of your problem so that you can continue moving forward.

Crisis Help Resources

I have some resources available for you here on my website. There are prayer hotlines as well as suicide hotlines that you can utilize if you are in a crisis listed on that page.

To Friends Providing Support

An individual who is having suicidal thoughts really needs your support. They probably won’t want help, but guide them to the help that they need. Make sure that the key players in their lives are aware of what is going on. Check in with them often and make sure that they are okay. Make sure that they know that they are loved and have a place in your life.

Whatever you do, do not turn a blind eye to this situation, and be sure that they are receiving help and talking it through. They may not want to be around people, but insure that they are. Too much time alone can result in more time for them to get deeper into their depression. Realize that this is a real thing, that they can overcome.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

 

 

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Guys Only Want Me For Sex – Dating Advice

18-year-old Veronica from Maryland writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I have never been in a relationship before. No one has ever taken the time to notice me I guess. I’m in college now, and I got my braces off over the summer before college. Now everyone is saying I look way different from high school. Even though it was a few months ago. Any ways now all these guys approach me wherever I go. Mostly guys in their 20’s and 30’s, never my age. All they want from me is one thing, sex. I want to wait until marriage, and I want a guy that respects me. However, it seems the only thing guys see in me is just another body to add to their list.  I don’t know what to do? I want a relationship not just a fling.

by imagerymajestic

by imagerymajestic

Hello Veronica,

If you want a relationship and not a fling then a relationship you shall have. When I entered college I began to also notice older men showing interest in me. I didn’t know how to deal with it either at first. I soon learned that I was in complete control over myself and the guys I chose to let into my life.

If you want men to respect you, you have to respect yourself by setting a standard for yourself. Guys will only show respect to you as far as you ask for it. It isn’t always in what you say it is in how you carry yourself and the morals and values you set for yourself. You seem like you have some strong ones so I am sure that you will be fine.

Don’t give into the pressures of sex. It won’t be easy, but if you don’t want to just become another number on someone’s list then don’t! Keep yourself for marriage as you said you wanted to. I did, so I know you can too! Keep God in your life, and it will all work out!

And good for you for being awesome!

Be Blessed!

Chauntel

Ps. Here is a video that I produced for a woman with a struggle somewhat related to your situation:

 

 

5 Ways to to Compliment A Guy

Jazzy writes:

Hi Chauntel!

I am in middle school, and I have a boyfriend,. but I’m not sure what to say to compliment him. What are some good compliments that guys like to hear? Also, how am I supposed to react after he gives me a compliment? Am I supposed to compliment him back or just say thanks? This would be so helpful!!

by imagerymajestic

by imagerymajestic

Hi Jazzy,

When it comes to complimenting a guy, they are pretty simple. Just think of ways to play up his ego. Guys love to be complimented on their physical appearance. They also, like to know that you see them as manly.
Here are some simple compliments that you can give a guy that will keep him smiling back at you:
1. Oh you are so funny!
2. I can tell you have been working out!
3. I love being in your arms, you make me feel safe!
4. You are such a manly man!
5.  I love being around you, you make me feel so special!
It is nice to be nice so if he gives you a compliment, feel free to compliment him back. However, you also have to know how to accept a compliment. You don’t always have to spit one back out as soon as you get one.
So in response to his compliment, you can spit one back at him, or you can simply say thank you with a smile.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
email me questions at askchauntel@gmail.com