Stress Can Cause a Break up – Advice to Jason Derulo and Jordan Sparks on their Split

It’s Celebrity Tuesday again Jewels and Gems!

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 2.28.21 PMSo, if you haven’t heard yet, during his interview with Ryan Seacrest, singer Jason Derulo hinted at the fact that the “Pressure of Marriage” contributed to his split from the gorgeous former American Idol Winner, Jordan Sparks.

In his interview Derulo added that their busy schedules contributed to time apart, which added stress to their relationship.

It is important to remember that when you put stress on a relationship it can cause it to crumble. When it comes to dating, at the point that the two people involved in the relationship want divergent things stress can begin to strain the relationship.

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 2.29.04 PMThis is why compromises are made. They are made to account for the negatives and divergent ideas that arise within a relationship. However, all things cannot be compromised. They should not be. It reminds of the saying my mom always told me: “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything”. So some people’s views and passions will ultimately separate them. There is not getting around that.

When relationships split, it is sad. It doesn’t matter how much you understand why it has to end this way, they do, and accepting it can be hard.

So, here is my advice to Jason and Jordan. In life we meet amazing people that play a grave impact on us. Some more than others. We must take those experiences, appreciate them, and sometimes in time we must move on. The next time around you will be stronger and better than before, if you wisely take note of why it didn’t work out and apply that to making better decisions in the future you will eventually end up with what you are looking for. Hopefully, that includes a happy ending for both of you.

Who knows what really happened between Jason and Jordan right? I think we need both sides of the story.

Lets go with idea that what he implied about her pressuring him into marriage to be true. When it comes to pressuring a man for marriage, its not a good idea. If you want it to last both of you must be all in. It takes work to have a successful marriage. You have to take that very serious.

Screen Shot 2014-09-30 at 2.50.26 PMNow, if you  have decided that marriage is something you want, I do believe it is important to be mindful of the amount of time you are dating someone. If there seems to be no future commitment and that is in your life plan, I see nothing wrong with walking away from a relationship when enough time has passed. If talks of marriage have not risen at all in 2 years, by my clock its looking iffy. By year 3, some direction should have been shared. Even-though there is no magic number explaining how long is too long. If something hasn’t happened between the 3rd and 5th year, I would start asking questions. Anytime before that I think is too early to walk away. I mean give the guy some time. At-least talk about it first before you call it quits! Some women have a number in their head, and if dude misses the deadline she walks away. I am not a fan of that method! Talk to him, see if you want the same things, if not then you can confidently walk away, not fearful that you left something behind! – I know TANGENT!

I would also like to say, that generally speaking your romantic partner is suppose to be you oasis away from the stressors in your life. So, if you are causing stress in your relationship re-adjust yourself. If your partner is causing stress within the relationship be sure to have a serious conversation with them letting them know how you feel. Don’t wait until it gets worse. Address it now!

Happy Life = Let Go Of the Stressors and move on. Or in better words: Let Go and Let God!

I Hope That Helps!

Chauntel

Have a question? Email them to askchauntel@gmail.com, or click CONTACT above!

First Kiss Kissing Tips – How to Prevent Loud Kissing Noises

12-year-old Emily writes from North Carolina writes:

by Ambro

by Ambro

Hi Chauntel,

I need advice on my first kiss…….how do u stop those sloppy noises from happening……I know it’s natural but some really loud ones aren’t.

Hi Emily,

What a cute question!

Since you are 12-years-old I must begin with a disclaimer:

Before you get into a kissing relationship always know that you must set boundaries first. You don’t want to get into a situation with a guy who makes you feel pressured to do anything that you don’t want to do or are not ready for. So it is important to establish those boundaries first, before getting into the situation. Since you are one of my Jewels, I will give you one primary rule that you must follow, make sure he keeps his hands around your waist, not above or below. If he tries anything funny politely move his hands back where they belong, he will get the hint!

Ok, so on to answering your question specifically, to avoid loud noises when kissing keep the following two things in  mind:

1. Make Sure Your Lips are Not Too Wet – Wetness On your lips creates a Smacking Noise. However, in the same breath, I don’t recommend chapped lips.

2. Don’t Kiss Too Fast – The slower the kiss the less noise it makes.

With these two things in mind, don’t get too caught up on the logistics. Just have fun with it!

When kissing though keep in mind that you feelings can get attached, and it might be too soon for a very serious relationship if you know what I mean. Take your time with this and let it happen naturally when and how it is suppose to. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Don’t Date Your Brothers Girlfriend – Advice to Joe Jonas – Celebrity Tuesdays

Look out Nick Jonas, it looks like your older brother Joe might be making a move on your x-supermodel girlfriend, Gigi Hadid. MailOnline reported that Nick and Gigi dated on and off during 2012 and 2013.

GC Images Nick & Gigi

GC Images Nick & Gigi

Rumor has it that Joe Jonas has been spending a considerable amount of time with the beautiful Sports Illustrated model!

When it comes to sibling rivalry this is not an area you want to get caught up in. Much can be forgiven, but when it comes to love and relationships this can prove to be a bit more challenging.

So here is my advice to Joe. Even-though, the girl might be gorgeous, and you may also love what you see inside, no girl is worth causing tension between brothers.

It may seem easier to date Gigi, because she is familiar. However, it can be limiting to stay in your comfort zone and not take the time to explore new relationships.

In order to grow and prosper sometimes we have to take ourselves our of our comfort zones and see how the grass is on the other side.

Nick and Joe Jonas - by RadarOnlineA relationship between brothers must be strong. You must consider how it makes your brother feel to know that you are dating his EX. Even if he says ok, it is never ok.

So lets not be selfish, there are plenty of beautiful women out there waiting in line to be your boo!

Just Think About It!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Advice to Gabrielle Union – How to Marry a Man with Children – Celebrity Tuesdays

Screen Shot 2014-09-16 at 9.41.26 AMAdding to the tradition of expanding my blog topics. I will be writing love and life advice to celebrities on Tuesdays. Feel free to apply this advice to your life, love and relationships! BTW this was my husbands idea, and I have to hand it to him, he is awesome! Shout out to DavD Beats!

Here was my first post  in this category that I wrote to Kim and Kanye when they were married. The title of this post was: Advice to Kim Kardashian & Kayne West on How to Survive Year 1 of Marriage, CLICK TO READ

So here it goes!

Two beautiful and talented people tied the not last month, actress Gabrielle Union, 41, and Miami Heat player Dwyane Wade, 32. They celebrated their nuptials in Miami, Florida. It was a family affair which they shared with Dwyane’s adorable boys.

When you first get married there is a transition period where you get to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. There are expectations and realities that are not present in a dating relationship that you begin to learn and witness once you get married. The first year of marriage can be considered difficult because it is a transition period. Both parties are learning their new roles, while simultaneously still attempting to keep a sense of self.

Screen Shot 2014-09-16 at 9.32.45 AMThis becomes even more difficult when children are added to the equation because not only are you dealing with the transition into becoming a husband or a wife, but you also have to make a transition to be mommy and daddy. Doing this simultaneously can prove to be difficult. It forces you to take on twice as many responsibilities, and it can put a strain on your relationship. Therefore, it is essential that you handle it with care and stay flexible!

Having children in your life is a true blessing from God! As much of a blessing as they are, it takes hard work to be a parent. If you choose to marry into a family with children, you not only marry your spouse but you also marry their children. You should be prepared to be a parent and treat them fairly. You have to become self-less and learn that you have to show them love. You must also realize that this is going to be a slow growing process. There will be times where you will get along and other times where you will not see eye-to-eye. However, you must note that this is a full time job that you cannot choose to quit. You have to hang in there and build up the relationship.

If you are the spouse who is bringing the children into the new marriage, choose wisely. You should never choose to marry anyone who does not love and respect your children. If you do you will regret it and the marriage will be sour.

Screen Shot 2014-09-16 at 1.23.05 PMWhen considering time together with your spouse you must know that their time will be split between you and their children, and you should be happy with the fact that they love and want to take care of their children. If they don’t take care of their children what makes you think that they will take care of you?

With this in mind it is also important that both spouses set time aside for just the two of you. It is important that you have that bonding time, especially when you first get married. You must consider time with both your spouse and their children, who will now be called YOUR children. Many marriages struggle as a result of a difference of opinions on how to spend money and how to raise children.

As a result having children can add stress to a relationship, so it is absolutely essential that the bride and groom discuss their expectations long before the choose to get married. This way there are not any huge surprises, and with God’s help the rest can be communicated through! Always keep him at the center of your relationship, and the head of your children’s lives, and everything will work out just fine! In fact, you will find yourself to be a happy and healthy family!

Congrats to Gabrielle and Dwayne and all of you other newly married couples with children! We are rooting for ya!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Keeping Your Marriage Happy – Marriage Mondays

by imagerymajestic

by imagerymajestic

Hey Jewels & Gems!

I have decided to expand my horizons a bit! Here is a new series on my blog! It may spill over into my YouTube channel who knows! It is entitled Marriage Mondays! I did write one a while back, to try it out! You guys seemed to like it so lets get it going! Even if you are not married some of these posts may still help with those of you in relationships!

Click: First Marriage Mondays Post

So here it goes!

The little things matter! In love and marriage, it is important to always remember that your spouse may not always outwardly express what they may be feeling, but it is your job to stay in tune with not only their needs but also their wants!

Not only does this make them feel special, but it also makes them feel needed and wanted. Sometimes we find ourselves so wrapped up in our own worlds that we forget to stop and assess what’s going on around us.

small arrowIt is during these times, that the ones closest to us, might find themselves needing us the most. So, we have to, as they say “take time to smell the roses”. Slow down and connect with your spouse, so that you can attend to what they need.

Did you know that 93% of communication happens nonverbally. There was a study done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages. He found that only 7% of communication happens through words and 38% is expressed through vocal elements. More the 55% is communicated through nonverbal elements such as facial expressions, gestures, posture, and related body language.

Next to God, your spouse has to be the second top priority in your life, more than work or other activities. If they are not happy, it will begin to effect each of you individually; then it will begin to effect your marriage.

So pay close attention to both their verbal and nonverbal cues. If you only listen to the words that you hear and ignore what you see, you are truly missing out on 93% of the bigger picture. Give it a try this week, be attentive to your spouses wants as well as their needs and see just how much you make them smile! Attention to nonverbal cues is essential to keeping a happy marriage!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

Have a Marriage Monday Topic Idea?

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

Road Trip from California to Idaho Part 1 – Vlog

As promised here is the beginning of our vacation to my friend Peaches wedding. We drove there for about 14 hours. We share some of the moments we had on the way. There was a lot of no mans land on this trip, but it was fun to spend time with David! Let me know if you would like to see more videos like this! love ya!

New Video! Bargain Buys – Coral Sweaters & Nail Polish Haul

I love to shop on a budget and share what I buy on bargain! This series is new and it will feature the items that I am purchasing to update my wardrobe. It is a fashion journey to a new and updated wardrobe. I have been about the same size for the past 15 years and need to rid myself of some items as well as add additional ones to update what I have! You will also see new items that I am buying to bring some vibrance to my wardrobe! Enjoy and let me know if you have some items in your closet that you have been holding on for too long just like me! askchauntel@gmail.com

First Fashion Diary Episode:
http://youtu.be/BJ7AIWcVJts

My Natural Hair Dry Hair Beauty Haul:
http://youtu.be/V7EVA0zJjcU

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Videos Mentioned at End:

Africa Fashion Week Los Angeles
http://youtu.be/axy3Rq-D6qA

Adorn Fashion Show
http://youtu.be/dyIZ8HT9dOc

Re: Ask E. Jean- WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE NOT EXPECTING

Hello My Beautiful Jewels,

I have decided to begin giving my responses to some popular advice columns that I read. Below is my first entry taken from Ask E. Jean, column writer for Elle magazine.

Here is the link to the original post on elle.com. Link: http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/ask-e-jean-pregnant-friends

Dear E. Jean: I have a wonderful two-year-old, who is the absolute light of my life, and a husband I adore. I love being a mom and desperately wish to expand our family. However, I have suffered three miscarriages in the past 10 months (despite testing and treatment for a blood-clotting disorder linked to miscarriage), in addition to losing my father. At the moment, I am hurting too much from all this loss and need to take a break from trying for another child, and I’m also recognizing that it may not be in Mother Nature’s cards for us to have another. (It took almost two years to conceive my daughter, so fertility has never come naturally for me.)

The problem is, nearly all of my friends are pregnant right now and I’m finding it incredibly hard to be around them. Watching their bodies change is a constant reminder of where I should have been had any of my pregnancies lasted. I don’t want to cut myself off socially, especially in a time of such grief, but I find it very painful to see such abundant fertility around me. What can I do, short of finding an entirely new group of friends? —Heartbroken

by zcool.com.cn

by zcool.com.cn

Dear Heartbroken,

You are dealing with such a very difficult time right now. I can totally relate to what you are going through. I just had a miscarriage myself about 7 weeks ago. I will post my videos below where I share my story.

Did you know that 1 and 3 pregnant women will loose their baby?

It is a reality that many people are not aware of. The pain that comes with a miscarriage is so very difficult both physically and emotionally. Although, the people around you may not quite understand exactly how you are feeling, what matters  most is their love and support for you.

It is natural for you to be sad when you see your friends going along in their pregnancy, while you have continued to loose yours. However, I believe that you have the strength to overcome those negative feelings, but it is going to take some work on your part.

You cannot possibly be happy for them if you are beating yourself up over this. So, here is what you need to do. You  first must stop beating yourself up. As women, we can find ourselves blaming ourselves for the fact that we cannot get pregnant or stay pregnant. We slowly begin tearing ourselves down. Then when we see women who are pregnant we may begin comparing ourselves to them and wondering why our pregnancy did not work out. That is the absolute opposite of what you should do. However, it may seem like the easiest road to take.

So, I want you to walk the unbeaten path. The path of a strong woman, who holds her head up high in-spite of the pain that she is experiences. Have confidence in yourself, and know that just because your pregnancies have not worked out it does not make you any less of a woman. Also, as that strong woman you must know that if these women truly are your friends they mean you no harm and you should embrace them during this hard time. If them talking about their pregnancies saddens you, then just be honest with them and let them know that you are having a hard time with the loss of your babies. Inform them that although you are happy for them, you would rather not talk about pregnancy at all. If they are truly your friends they should be sensitive to that fact, and heed to your request. If they do not, then they are selfish and not a true friend to you.

 by adamr

by adamr

Beyond that, lets thank God for our blessings. He has given you a husband who loves you and a daughter all yours. Those times when you begin beating yourself up just remember how blessed you are to have them in your lives. Some women will not ever get married or have a child, and you have both.

So, if it is really your desire to have another baby, don’t give up. It is going to take some time and it may take more heartache, but you are strong enough to endure it. Do you know how I know? – because God will not put more on you than you can bear, and you are still standing sista.

As a good friend of mines reminded me, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, and all he wants is for us women to separate ourselves during our time of need. When you see your pregnant friends, instead of focusing on what they have, and what you lack, I want you to focus on what both of you have – love and family. Don’t see yourself as less than, but instead know that God knew you were strong enough to endure. We all have hard times, but this too shall pass.

Also, Don’t keep your feelings inside, discuss how you are feeling with your husband. He is hurting too, and during this time you two need to need to show love and support to each-other.

May God be with you and your family, and if it is in his will, you will have another baby.

Lots of Love,

Chauntel

email questions to askchauntel@gmail.com

New Video: How to Deal with a Gold Digger – Relationship Advice – Ask Chauntel

When dealing with relationships sometimes we will run across people who will do their best to use and abuse us. How do we deal with these types of situations. How do you guide yourself through a situation where you have been taken advantage of? Watch!

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Influencer Vox Box – #VowVoxBox Unboxing

Hey guys here I share with you the unboxing of my Influencer Vox Box. This particular Vox Box is given to brides, bridesmaids, mothers-of-the-bride, wedding guests,and wedding crashers of Influencer Nation! I received this Vox Box in the mail after requesting to be an Influenster and taking a number of surveys.

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding, and this may have been one of the reasons why I was selected for this particular Vox Box! I am a little late getting this up because I had been sick, but I am feeling much better now! I hope you enjoy!

Checkout my friend Stephanie who referred me to influencer: http://www.pinterest.com/yahwehallday/
Here is their website: http://www.influenster.com

Products

Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure: $7.99
Olay Regenerist Lumnious Tone Perfecting Cream: $30.99
Pure Silk Moisterizing Shave Cream: $1.49 SRP (5oz): $2.19
EcoTools Pure Complelxion Sponge: $5.99
Tide to Go: 3ct for $7.99