10 Secrets to a Better Marriage- “My Marriage is Falling Apart” – Christian Marriage Help

When your marriage is falling apart, and may you wonder how you can fix it. If you feel alone and unsure of how to get it back on track, then please know that there is hope for the future. Remember a happy marriage is how it all began. Here are a few secrets to building an even better marriage, even when it feels like you have nothing more to give.

  • Listen Better: Sometimes when our husband speaks up we focus so much on what we are thinking and feeling, that we allow our thoughts to get in the way of hearing their feelings and concerns.
  • Observe With More than Your Eyes: Verbal communication is just one way that we express ourselves. Pay close attention to his non verbal cues such as facial expressions, eye contact, and hand gestures. You might learn more about how your husband is feeling.
  • Compliment Him: A simple compliment can go such a long way. When he does the things that you like from him to do follow it up with verbal praise! He needs you to uplift him! If you always focus on the bad, he will feel criticized by you! This will be demotivate him to give you the things that you want from him.

Proverbs 15:1-2 “A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,
But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”

  • Meet His Needs: You know what they are, so make sure they are being met. If you don’t know what they are, then here is where you we need to start talking to him more. When his needs are addressed he will be much happier.
  • Let Stuff Go: It’s easy to get caught up in the past, and it is harder to move past what has happened to make for a better future. Now, if you have not dealt with the pain of the past, then that is the conversation that you need to have with him. If you have communicated about it, then stop “working on it” and let’s move past it, or it will sabotage the rest of your relationship.

Matthew 6:14 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”

  • Be Merry: He already has enough challenge to deal with being a man in the world around him. It is your job to be his happy place, “His Sunshine”. After all, who wants to be around a person who is complaining and argumentative all of the time. Be the kind of person you want to call, talk to, text, or spend time with.
  • Be Exciting: Put simply, boring is boring. So if you aren’t doing anything to be interesting then start doing something with your time. You won’t have anything to talk about besides your monotonous daily tasks unless you do something fun! So, do something that you find interesting and become someone interesting for the both of you. If you are doing things, then share them with him. If he doesn’t care about them, then sister we have a whole other problem, and he might be the one needing coaching. I’ll tell him, no worries šŸ™‚
  • State Your Needs: Women can be very subtle in how we deliver information as to not offend anyone, especially our men. What most women do not realize is men do not get hints most of the time. So if you want or need something, you better spell it out. Otherwise, he will be super confused when you refer to the task that you had only alluded to before, he will have no idea what you were talking about.

Matthew 7:7-8 – “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

  • Ask Questions: If you are unsure about anything in your relationship, or anything concerning your man, then girl you need to talk to him. How do you expect to know or have clarity if you don’t open your mouth and ask for it. I know sometimes this is easier said than done, and sometimes the truth does hurt. So if you are going to ask, just know you may or may not like the answer.
  • Give Him Support: There is nothing a man loves more than a woman who shows up for him. Ask him questions about the things that he loves, show that you want to learn more. Be involved and what he does even if it isn’t your thing. It will make him feel loved.

These tips will help brighten any marriage!

Want More Tips? Download My Free Exclusive Guide: 8 Steps to Being a Great Christian Wife: https://mailchi.mp/b103582b69a3/christianwife

Need help with a specific question? You can Ask Chauntel a question here askchauntel@gmail.com or here: http://www.askchauntel.com/askaquestion

Here is a video that I did on a similar topic:

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Controversial Relationship Question – Do Black Women Marry White Men? – Ask Chauntel

In this YouTube video, we dive into my relationship advice column question how to overcome interracial marriage prejudices. It is important that when you are in an interracial relationship or interracial marriage you recognize that you will face prejudices. In this video we address how to overcome those challenges. Plus, I share some black and white married celebrity couples that include black women and white men. In this YouTube video, we dive into my relationship advice column question how to overcome interracial marriage prejudices.

BONUS MATERIAL: FREE GUIDES & TRAINING FROM CHAUNTEL:
šŸ’˜ Free Guide: 8 Steps to Make A Good Man Want You
https://mailchi.mp/eeaf73bb960a/manwant
šŸ‘œ Free Guide: 8 Steps to Being a Great Christian Wife
https://mailchi.mp/b103582b69a3/chrisā€¦
ā˜® Listen to Free Audio Devotional – How to Find the Peace Within
https://mailchi.mp/631a41c86b7c/peaceā€¦

Stats Mentioned Source: https://blackdemographics.com/households/marriage-in-black-america/

 

 

Christian Dating – Should I Date My Best friend?

20-year-old Morgan from PA writes in for some Christian dating advice from the advice column, and she writes:

Hi Chauntel!

So I have recently started dating a guy I put in the friend zone several times throughout the years of our great friendship. We truly were and still are each others best friends and have always confided in one another. We have been dating for almost 5 months now and we have been doing this long distance because of his commitment to the Military.

Before our relationship started I let my values, beliefs and morals known. Because I have been his ā€œdream girlā€ for many, many years he said I will be okay with that because I just want to have you. During this beginning stage of interviewing, I asked Jesus into my heart and devoted my life to him. Since doing so I have felt a growing need for my S.O to be on a similar page as me.

I know that God has it covered when it comes to my boyfriend asking Jesus into his heart and believing in the beautiful sacrifice he made for everyone good and bad in the world. I am just beginning to feel insecure about just waiting for that to happen. Iā€™m feeling most secure now because he deploys in a month for 6 months and I feel like I need to know where he is and what he understands about the Christian faith before he deploys to see if it is worth it to continue courting one another.

I am worried of letting myself go through the emotional turmoil of a deployment and it not being worth it. I am also insecure that my boyfriend fell in love with my looks before my character so Iā€™m worried that he sees me as his future wife for the wrong reasons. Iā€™m just a mess clearly. Please send help lol.

Hi Morgan,

I think it is wonderful that you let your values and beliefs known at the beginning of the relationship. I also believe that it is great that you are his “dream girl”, and he accepts you for who you are. However, that alone isn’t going to be enough for the plan that God has for your life.

And yes… I totally agree with the fact that you want to figure this out before he deploys. It wouldn’t make since to make a commitment to a long distance relationship unless you know that it is something that you want to pursue or truly want to invest into.

So, see where he is with his Christian faith. Then, encourage him to build a relationship with God. Just ensure that he is doing it for him, not just to be in a relationship with you. If he does so, then his motivation will not last.

It could be that you help sow the seed for him to build a deeper relationship with God, or you may find out that his heart isn’t in it. At this point, we don’t know. What we do know is, at this point, you two are unequally yoked, and that will cause many challenges in the future.

The Bible tells us to be equally yoked so that our light can shine brighter. The Bible verse is below!

I hope it helps!  Hey Jewels feel free to leave your advice in the comment section below. 

Chauntel xoxo

2 Corinthians 6:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

 

Wendy Williams Husband Mistresses – Relationship Advice Columns (Christian) – Ask Chauntel

Wendy William’s husband allegedly has a mistress with a baby coming. Here’s Christian, marriage advice for this celebrity relationship. What is going on in her relationship, and what should she do to get through this tough time. If you are looking for a happy relationship and marriage help then chick out this advice column video from Ask Chauntel. Go vote on my poll on if you think she should stay in this marriage with her husband after everything that he has put her through, watch!

How to Have a Better Marriage – Beyond Sex – Christian Marriage Tips

This video shares how to have a better marriage beyond your sexual relationship. If you are a Christian women looking for relationship advice and want it from a Christian girl perspective, then check out this video!

 

Email me for the Cheat Sheet: askchauntel@gmail.com

My Dating Advice for Young Women Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubuWkbdpIjI&list=PLwoUszUxAQpPxN2j7BqSSci8Tg6QzVQjk
My Relationship Advice for Married Women Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwoUszUxAQpNfMAd9OS_lNuGMBSXsrRKc

Private Coaching: https://askchauntel.com/getadvice/

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Will and Jada Red Table Talk – Christian Relationship Advice for Couples

I give some Christian relationship advice for couples as we discuss Will and Jada’s convo on Red Table Talk this week. I would love to know what you thought about what they shared about their relationship.

Full Episodes Here:

Stats from Psychology Today:Ā https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201202/the-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages

50% of first marriages end in divorce

67% of second marriages end in divorce

73% of third marriages end in divorce

Becoming Mr. & Mrs. Smith (Part 1)

Our Unique Union (Part 2)

Reese Witherspoonā€‹’s Fire Speech

This Week’s Modest Fashion Goddess

Screen Shot 2018-11-03 at 2.12.47 AMScreen Shot 2018-11-03 at 2.13.07 AM

 

Fall Date Ideas – Outdoor Date Ideas

If you are looking for some fall date ideas then check out these fun adventurous outdoor date ideas that you can try with your husband or boyfriend. They are also baby friendly so if you have kids they can come along!

If you have questions email me at askchauntel@gmail.com

Video Mentioned at End: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k30uB0mDdHQ&t=115s

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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How to Keep Husband from Looking at Other Women – Marriage Help

In this video I share how to keep your husband from looking at other women. If you are seeking help in your marriage! Watch! In this video I share how to deal with a depressed husband. If your husband is depressed, and you want to know how to be there for him then watch! If you have questions email me at askchauntel@gmail.com More info for you on http://www.askchauntel.com Free Audio Training: https://askchauntel.com/newsletter/ Video Mentioned at End:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcJ_V…

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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Private Coaching: https://askchauntel.com/coaching/

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How to Deal with Depressed Husband – How to Be There for a Depressed Husband

In this video I share how to deal with a depressed husband. If your husband is depressed, and you want to know how to be there for him then watch!

If you have questions email me at askchauntel@gmail.com

More info for you on http://www.askchauntel.com

Free Audio Training: https://askchauntel.com/newsletter/
Video Mentioned at End: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcJ_VzNtOko

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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Money in a Marriage – Advice for Newlyweds

In this video we talk about money in a marriage. I share my advice to newlyweds getting married in this millennial age as it can have its challenges.

If you are looking for life coaching, relationship or marriage help, I offer private coaching by email or even one-on-one coaching sessions. Here is more info:

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